I'm the Grossest Person in the World...

...but I am a Bad, Naughty Mommy who at least can laugh at myself!

So, today I'm at the gym, and after the water aerobics class, I'm FREEZING, so I head to the steam room. There's this drain in the floor, of course, and it happens to be RIGHT by where I'm sitting, so - since I'm alone - I'm thinking, "Wow, I went from super-cold to super-warm and I REALLY have to pee...and I'm wearing a swimsuit...so..." So you can guess what happened next.
Or maybe you can't.

I scootch to the edge of the bench (so that I'm as close to the drain as possible) and I cut loose. You know how sometimes when pee comes ripping out of a wet bathing suit it kinda makes that whistling noise? (No, you don't...you're too classy to pee without being at a toilet, I know. But I gave birth to children in front of a roomful of people, so peeing nowhere near a toilet is not a big thing here. Bear with me.) Whistle, whistle, whistle...aaaaaaaah. Pee heads down the drain.

About 15 seconds later, I hear this big sssiiiiiigggghhhh, and someone in the far corner stands up and walks out.

Yeah. It's true.

So next time YOU decide to pee through your swimsuit into a hole in the floor of a steam room, be sure you check that those massive clouds of thick, hot steam aren't hiding any white women in white t-shirts and pastel workout shorts who are sitting rigid listening to you whiz down a drain just biding their time until you're done and they can walk out.

If it weren't so funny, I'd be mortified...but since I've farted bright orange pizza grease onto a beautifully upholstered chair in a nice restaurant within the last 12 months, nothing, I say NOTHING, embarrasses me anymore. Except, perhaps, sharing it with all of you.

Hope you got a good laugh at my expense, 'cuz I sure did. Still am, really. Poor woman. Going home to tell her friends and family about her Bad, Naughty Mommy run-in. Maybe they'll laugh, too. Can't blame them, really. Aaaaaaaaah.