Quittin' Time

I'm serious. I know all the Super Moms out there and all those women who can't have children and want them desperately will think me demonic for saying this, but sometimes I just want to quit! Throw in the towel! Be DONE with motherhood!

Before you begin to fear for my children, I'm not going to go nuts and drown them in the bathtub. Not to worry. I don't want to leave them on someone's doorstep or abandon them at the mall...today. It's just that all too often I want to quit.

I won't and I don't, but I wish I could.

My kids are sick. It's really sweet when they snuggle up to you and just want to be held and comforted...but reality kicks in when they send a giant hacking cough into your face, you're up at 3 AM again to wipe up the vomit and change the sheets, you're pinned to the house and your big outing for the day is checking the mail, and that's only the very start.

I love my kids, and I want them to be well...For me.

When they're not sick, they're bored and getting into everything they shouldn't. The require selfless service from stay-at-home Mom every 12.2 minutes of every day from 6:59 when they wake your from your dreams to 8:07 when they FINALLY get tucked in. The sweet side of me loves the tucking, loves the "come sit with me on the couch, Mommy," loves the "Mommy, can you get out of the bed now and be with me?"

The dark side of me wants to say "Go climb up on the bloody counter and get yourself a box of cereal so I can sleep another 20 minutes," "No, you sit on the couch and watch Polar Express for the 400th time while I blog," and "'Night, kid. Don't get up or make a sound or I'm disowning you. It's after 8, and now it's Mommy time."

I'm (VERY SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY AND BY FORCE) learning selflessness, but I'm just friggin' not there yet. The truth is I'm not sure I ever will be.

So...Anyone want to rent some kids? And I say rent because I want the money to go get myself a massage...and maybe a mani-pedi. I'd let you borrow them, but you'd just give them back. If I require you to rent them, you'll keep them longer because you want your money's worth. And then perhaps I can make a little extra...when I expect payment to return them.

Love 'em...but I want a stinkin' nap! Selfless, schmelfless!

Now if you'll excuse me, I'm being hailed by a child half my size and 1/5 my weight to fetch it some water, so No More Blogging for Bad, Naughty Mommy. What a pisser.