She Wants to be a Soccer Mom

Girl I know...fondest dream? Motherhood a la Soccer.

I'm living a beautiful, successful woman's fondest dream?

Let's analyze this for just a moment, shall we?

I mean, I do spend most of my time having my nails done, visiting the salon for my root-upkeep, and shopping at Neiman Marcus - the outlet, of course - not to mention all those personal training sessions at my in-home gym...

And I love my ice cream bon bons while I'm updating myself on the daily goings-on of General Hospital...

And there's something about watching your maid do your cleaning for you, and your housekeeper heading out to pick up your children from school and day care, and your personal chef preparing your South Beach lunch and putting together your farmer's garden-based family dinner for later tonight, and your gardener cutting back your tea roses, and the dog-walker taking your puppy for a spin around the neighborhood, and that hunky pool boy scooping the fallen leaves from the pool knowing you'll never have to do any of those things yourself that really increases your zest for life...

And did I mention how much I adore my au pair? Almost as much as my kids do...so long as they never start thinking that she's the mom, that is. Oh, and I'm equally as thrilled by how much they love their private tutors...and golf teachers...and piano lessons...and dance instructors, sports coaches, and the lot...

But I must confess...the last time I actually drove my minivan, it was to have my eyebrows threaded, and the last time I actually attended one of my son's soccer games was...well, let's be honest, I let my husband do that. My skin is sun-sensitive.

No wonder she wants my life. It's good to be me!